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MAR I MUNTANYA. EL BALDIRI NO ENGANYA.

Ja em perdonareu aquests dies d'absència que també han estat d'absenta perquè de lo primer n'hi ha hagut molta i de lo segon encara més. Tocava despullar les vinyes i primer són les vinyes i després el xerrar. O sigui que ara que ja tinc les vinyes recollides puc tornar a xerrar. Ja sé que pensareu alguns, que les vinyes es cullen abans. Aquí al poble, les meves vinyes les cullo quan em sembla. Anem a l'absenta que és el que ens interessa.
Ja fa dies que li deiem al Biel de Ca la Joaneta que l'absenta n'és molt de dolenta. I ell vinga, cada dia, tot fent la botifarra, una copa d'absenta. I un dia d'aquells que no hi havia botifarra perquè el Miquel era collint vinya i en Trincons era fora del poble, el Biel va quedar-se igualment al Casal i va veure els programes del cor, el diari de no sé qui i el partit de la Copa Europa.
I el Biel fot-li que fot-li i anant fent absentes fins que arriba l'hora de tancar el Casal i llavors arriba el pollastre.
Em truquen a casa a les dotze de la nit i em diuen que el Biel s'ha tornat boig i que és al descampat d'entrada del poble plorant i dient que ens han robat.
Apa, agafo el cotxe i cap al descampat. I allí me'l trobo. Sota un garrofer anant plorant.
- Arcalde, arcalde, que ens han robat. que ens han robat! em diu el Biel tot borratxot i amb la mirada perduda. (aquí anoto que el Biel té la mirada perduda d'ençà que de petit li van fotre un ull a la virolé per un cop de pedra. Ara en té un de tort per la pedrada i l'altra que ja el tenia tort de naixement perquè el de la pedrada era el bo).
Que recoi ens han robat, Biel! Li pregunto
- La mar i la platja, arcalde, la mar i la platja. Ens ho han fotut tot. I el Biel, plora que plora.
A veure cap de soca. Que em dit sempre del nostre poble? eh? Hem dit sempre que tenim la mar al davant i la muntanya al darrere. Tu, tros de sumera, estàs mirant cap a muntanya oi?
- Si arcalde.
Doncs gira't!
I en Biel es gira i comença a riure. El mar davant seu. I para de riure i es fot a plorar.
I ara que et passa!
- Ens han robat la muntanya, ens han robat la muntanya!
Bieeeeellllll ! Gira't!.
- Oh, ara si que tenim muntanya!
La mare que et va matricular! El que fot la beguda, la mare de Deu!
Fes una cosa Biel. Queda't aquí assegut fins que et passi la merda que portes a sobre però fota't de perfil que així amb cada ull veus una cosa. No ens han robat res. A tu si, les peles per aquesta merda de licor i un tros de cervell si es que en tenies!
I així va quedar-se, de perfil vigilant el mar i la muntanya, fins que es va quedar dormit assegut, al cap de deu minuts.
Ja els he dit al Casal que parin de vendre absenta o que si en demana el Biel li fotin aigua i li diguin que han canviat de marca.
L'absenta provoca absencies. Les absencies dels amics mai es curen amb absenta. Us ho diu en Baldiri, alcalde del poble.

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